Raising Max & Evie

I'm alive.

2009-07-25T08:20:00.001-07:00

And I am okay.

Mother's Day continued...

2009-05-10T17:53:00.000-07:00

Totally uneventful. A normal day. Maybe someday my kids will make a macaroni necklace, but this year they have no idea what's going on.

I'm really excited about these shoes I got for $3 dollars at Salvation Army.
If I tip my camera just right it looks like I'm in a fun house mirror, or maybe my head is that small.

Me and little Max. He's trying to escape.

I painted gnomes for the garden with the kids today. When I wasn't looking Evie gave herself a pedicure with acrylics. Pretty good for a 2 year old!

And I love my new curtains! They're the ones that have been on my wish list for over a year. I went to Ikea and they were in the As-Is section, 75% off, nothing wrong with them, and they were the ONLY ones! Yay!

Happy Mother's Day, Mommy!

2009-05-09T20:27:00.000-07:00

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~Tenneva Jordan

4 generations of women.

You are appreciated

When I was young me and my mama had beef

Seventeen years old kicked out on the streets

Though back at the time, I never thought I'd see her face

Ain't a woman alive that could take my mama's place

Suspended from school; and scared to go home, I was a fool

with the big boys, breakin all the rules

I shed tears with my baby sister

Over the years we was poorer than the other little kids

And even though we had different daddy's, the same drama

When things went wrong we'd blame mama

I reminice on the stress I caused, it was hell

Huggin on my mama from a jail cell

And who'd think in elementary?

Heeey! I see the penitentiary, one day

And runnin from the police, that's right

Mama catch me, put a whoopin to my backside

And even as a crack fiend, mama

You always was a black queen, mama

I finally understand

for a woman it ain't easy tryin to raise a man

You always was committed

A poor single mother on welfare, tell me how ya did it

There's no way I can pay you back

But the plan is to show you that I understand

You are appreciated

Lady... Don't cha know we love ya? Sweet lady

Dear mama

Place no one above ya, sweet lady

You are appreciated

Don't cha know we love ya?

And Dear Mama,

Now ain't nobody tell us it was fair

No love from my daddy cause the coward wasn't there

He passed away and I didn't cry, cause my anger

wouldn't let me feel for a stranger

They say I'm wrong and I'm heartless, but all along

I was lookin for a father he was gone

I hung around with the Thugs, and even though they sold drugs

They showed a young brother love

I moved out and started really hangin

I needed money of my own so I started slangin

I ain't guilty cause, even though I sell rocks

It feels good puttin money in your mailbox

I love payin rent when the rent's due

I hope ya got the diamond necklace that I sent to you

Cause when I was low you was there for me

And never left me alone because you cared for me

And I could see you comin home after work late

You're in the kitchen tryin to fix us a hot plate

Ya just workin with the scraps you was given

And mama made miracles every Thanksgivin

But now the road got rough, you're alone

You're tryin to raise two bad kids on your own

And there's no way I can pay you back

But my plan is to show you that I understand

You are appreciated

Pour out some liquor and I reminsce, cause through the drama

I can always depend on my mama

And when it seems that I'm hopeless

You say the words that can get me back in focus

When I was sick as a little kid

To keep me happy there's no limit to the things you did

And all my childhood memories

Are full of all the sweet things you did for me

And even though I act craaazy

I gotta thank the Lord that you made me

There are no words that can express how I feel

You never kept a secret, always stayed real

And I appreciate, how you raised me

And all the extra love that you gave me

I wish I could take the pain away

If you can make it through the night there's a brighter day

Everything will be alright if ya hold on

It's a struggle everyday, gotta roll on

And there's no way I can pay you back

But my plan is to show you that I understand

You are appreciated

- the man, the myth, the legend.. Tupac Shakur

loneliness

2009-05-09T15:24:00.000-07:00

"Dear Astrid, Don't tell me how you hate your new foster home. If they're not beating you, consider yourself lucky. Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception... The best you'll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way. Moo."

white oleander, janet fitch

Dear Everyone,

2009-05-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

Not sure who the artist is, but I definitely need one of these hanging in my bedroom.

Places Max Has Wrote His Name

2009-05-05T12:54:00.000-07:00

I'm so proud of my little boy, writing his name and drawing his self portrait, but for fuck sake he sneaks crayons and draws it on EVERYTHING.

To name a few places: door ways, doors, walls in every room of the house, our brazilian cherry wood floors, the couch, baby gates, toys, my car, his sister, etc.

edited to add: sliding glass door.

The Secret!

2009-05-03T20:07:00.000-07:00

Today I went to my grandparents' house, the first time I have been there since my grandma passed away last Sunday. After my grandpa died in January, her health immediately went on a decline, and two days after she was placed on hospice she died. I will go into more detail later, I'm not ready to write about it yet. Anyway, grandpa always kept his tools/garage organized, I would say mildly, no majorly, OCD. His workshop has pretty much just sat dormant for the last years of his life, since his hands stopped listening to him. I thought he would appreciate it if I cleaned it out and organized it a little bit, so I did. Here's a couple shots of the OCD... This cabinet has always bothered me, the "KEEP OUT!!!" has been plaguing me for years.Upon closer inspection...Seriously? That's the big freaking secret?! Paint brushes? No weed? No hidden cigarettes after quitting years ago? Just paint brushes?! Hell.

More OCD lists, he kept an inventory of EVERYTHING.
Max took the camera and told Evie to pose, she started doing this weird, zombie, thriller dance. I tried to copy, but she is far superior.

Elaborate Lives

2009-05-03T20:02:00.000-07:00

We all lead such elaborate lives
wild ambitions in our sights
How an affair of the heart survives
days apart and hurried nights
Seems quite unbelievable to me
I don’t want to live like that
seems quite unbelievable to me
I don’t want to love like that
I just want our time to be
slower and gentler, wiser, free

We all live in extravagant times
playing games we can’t all win
Unintended emotional crimes
Take some out, take others in

I’m so tired of all were going through
I don’t want to live like that
I’m so tired of all were going through
I don’t want to love like that
I just want to be with you
Now and forever , peaceful, true
This may not be the moment
to tell you face to face
But I could wait forever
for the perfect time and place

We all lead such elaborate lives
We don’t know whose words are true
Strangers, lovers, husbands, wives
Hard to know who’s loving who

Too many choices tear us apart
I don’t want to live like that
Too many choices tear us apart
I don’t want to love like that
I just want to touch your heart
May this confession
Be the start

Perpetual Anxiety

2009-04-29T17:14:00.000-07:00

I don't know whether I am coming or going. The uncertainty of things seems to be worse than the possible outcomes. It seems I am packing up and then unpacking my emotional baggage daily. I want so badly to just be at peace with the horrible choices I have made, but when it relies on someone else it becomes a waiting game. At what point should I decide to take the reigns of my life and cut my losses?

On Love

2009-04-28T21:05:00.000-07:00

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." - Robert A. Heinlein

"A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” — Elbert Hubbard

Ode to Sadness

2009-04-27T14:50:00.000-07:00

Sadness, scarab
with seven crippled feet,
spiderweb egg,
scramble-brained rat,
bitch’s skeleton:
No entry here.
Don’t come in.
Go away.
Go back
south with your umbrella,
go back
north with your serpent’s teeth.
A poet lives here.
No sadness may
cross this threshold.
Through these windows
comes the breath of the world,
fresh red roses,
flags embroidered with
the victories of the people.
No.
No entry.
Flap
your bat’s wings,
I will trample the feathers
that fall from your mantle,
I will sweep the bits and pieces
of your carcass to
the four corners of the wind,
I will wring your neck,
I will stitch your eyelids shut,
I will sew your shroud,
sadness, and bury your rodent bones
beneath the springtime of an apple tree.

-Pablo Neruda

“We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It’s easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these loveable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.
— Chuck Klosterman

8 things meme

2009-04-26T18:17:00.000-07:00

My blog friend Angela tagged me, and I am having a hard time filling this out right now, I thought I could be more self centered! I will go back and fill more in when I'm feeling better.

8 Things I'm looking forward to:

1. Seeing The Business on the 8th
2. Memorial weekend
3. Getting over this hump
4. Buying a new bathing suit and going to the beach
5. My mom coming back in town
6. Making more money
7.
8.

8 things I did yesterday:

1. Saw my grandma for the last time, she died this morning
2. Watched my son ride a big boy bike with training wheels for the first time
3. Had my power go out
4. Cried
5. Did a whole house full of dirty dishes for Paul
6. Slept
7. Died a little bit

8 things I wish I could do:

1. Be "normal"
2. Cure cancer
3. and diabetes
4. and world hunger
5.
6.
7.
8.

8 shows I watch:
1. Big Brother
2. Project Runway
3. Top Chef
4. Rock of Love
5.
6.
7.
8. I don't really watch more than 8 shows anymore...

I tag the Pope, and Castro. Wait, what do you mean they don't read my blog?

Where You Can Find Me On The Weekdays

2009-04-23T11:43:00.001-07:00

Today's Bar Stool Romantic

2009-04-23T11:07:00.000-07:00

…We would look out over the immense sea, full of white-flecked and green reflections, the two of us leaning side by side on the railing, each of us far away, flying in his own aircraft to the stratospheric regions of his own dreams. There we understood that our vocation, our true vocation, was to move for eternity along the roads and seas of the world. Always curious, looking into everything that came before our eyes, sniffing out each corner but only ever faintly - not setting down roots in any land or staying long enough to see the substratum of things; the outer limits would suffice.

Ernesto Che Guevara, The Motorcycle Diaries.

My Lover; my killer

2009-04-22T16:11:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure where this one is from, but it's hot.

Fernando Vicente

Dear crappy Michigan hail,

2009-04-21T18:50:00.000-07:00

I want to trade you in for a tulip field, which I look at from a hot air balloon ride in Holland!

Thierry Mugler Hotfit

2009-04-20T18:27:00.000-07:00

I would totally wear the outfit on the left to the Woodward Dream Cruise.

Things That Make Me Happy, Part 1

2009-04-20T11:57:00.000-07:00

Always the cynic, I started making a list when I was in a bad mood yesterday of thing that make me miserable. After I started writing I decided I will try to be positive and make a list of things that make me happy. Here's what I can think of so far.

GRAPEFRUIT

Probably my favorite drink ever is a fresh squeezed grapefruit in a full glass of water. No sugar. SO good. I like to have one each morning, if I don't have any grapefruit I groan and use lemon instead.

SEWING/VISUALLY APPEALING TEXTILES

I love to sew, especially wee little dresses for my tot. Whenever I see a bright, fantastic textile I become inspired, and that makes me happy.

BEING FRUGAL

You would think that spending money would make me happy, but the rush I get is from where I save. I never buy clothing over ten dollars, everything is from the clearance rack. I seriously love walking out of the store, getting in my car, and looking at the discount on the receipt. Especially with grocery shopping, where the "money saved" is on there. It gives me an adrenaline rush (weird, right?)

TATTOOS

As a cutter who has never cut, tattoos are to me what Listerine is to an alcoholic. It's allowed, but it's still getting an otherwise frowned on fix. I love the way they look, but especially the way they feel, it it very arousing to me to get the actual tattoo, but the burn that follows 2 weeks afterward is absolutely heavenly.

CLEAN HOUSE/HOME DECOR

I am a true believer that is your surroundings are cluttered, your inner self will be cluttered. I like to practice feng shui, and keep my house very clean. When I get into a made bed, I sleep better, when I eat in a clean kitchen, the food tastes better. I don't take no mess. I am also a minimalist when it comes to "things" and knick knacks.

BONFIRES

The smell of a bonfire is one of the best smells. I was a pyro when I was younger, I just love to watch things burn. Bottom line.

SHOES

I love shoes, I love the way they smell new, the way the look, especially a tall, platform heel.

GARDENING/GRASS/LEAVES

I love any yard work, being out in my vegetable garden, raking and burning the leaves, or mowing the lawn are instant anxiety relievers for me.

MUSIC

Music has saved my life. Daily. Every memory I have I associate with some album, band, or song. One day I will own every CD to complete my life soundtrack, and it's going to be huge. It will be in a library. Expertly organized.

COOKING

Something I'm actually good at, cooking. I love cooking for other people especially.

to be continued...

Jack Speaks My Mind

2009-04-19T18:58:00.000-07:00

I have eaten beef stew with silent, shabby men in cheap eateries and fingered the last two pennies in my pocket with anger and irony … I have dined most sumptuously in a spacious Park Avenue home, duck brought forth in silver dishes by a butler … I have seen $.10 movies on Times Square, seated in the first row of the balcony in shirtsleeves, smoking and laughing … under a lashing rain and gale, I have gazed at the angry mid-Atlantic for a moment, pausing in my labours … I have stood on a Liverpool street corner in the middle of a drowsy afternoon and cursed the cobbles because the pubs had closed … I have made love to women in Canada, Washington, D.C., Nova Scotia, England, Greenland, New York City, Maryland and New England … I have lain drunk in the gutter of a street … I climbed a mountain in Greenland and gazed down on the slim ribbon of Ikatek Fjord … I have toiled in the sun on construction jobs from Portsmouth, New Hampshire to Alexandria, Virginia … I have attended cocktail parties in New York City penthouses … I have worked in mills … I have worked in garages … I have sold door to door … I have worked as a reporter on a newspaper … I have starved in a cheap urine-smelling room in Hartford, CT … I have dated actresses, models and social workers … I have brawled in streets, in bar entrances and in cafeterias … I have heard great symphonies and been transported … I have walked the streets, a lonely U.S. Navy gob and sought women … I have languished in hospitals and shuffled cards in melancholy abstraction … I have written reams and reams of writings … and through it all, I have always been restless, unhappy and seeking new horizons. What shall I do?

The Romanticist Jack Kerouac, September 1943.

My Awesome Dress Find

2009-04-17T18:22:00.000-07:00

My favorite clothes are post apocalyptic looking, have pockets, have hoods, are dresses, and are under ten dollars. Hard find, right? Hell yeah it is. Well, I found a dress with all of my requirements at Target the other day! For just $8!! Nobody likes it except me, but that's what matters, right? Max took some pictures of me today (he loves taking pics). He cut my head off in the first one...

yes, I AM Casper the friendly ghost. I refuse sunlight, spf 60 for me. I am horribly afraid of skin cancer. The collar is the best, it unbuttons into a water proof hood.

And here's one with my photographer.

Max and The Little Mermaid

2009-04-08T12:48:00.000-07:00

After sitting in complete silence, with the exception of Max hushing me when I would sing, the only thing he has to say after The Little Mermaid is, "Can they even have babies?" I responded with, "I don't know, would they have fins or legs?" Max then became completely insulted that I would even ask him such a ridiculous "stupid" question. But he still wouldn't answer it.

Total Turn-off

2009-04-01T14:52:00.000-07:00

Perfectly groomed facial hair on a man = gross. Flo Rida, you suck.

Why Max loves me...

2009-03-30T09:38:00.000-07:00

After a weekend long Star Wars trilogy binge at his dad's, Max and I were talking about clones this morning when he told me the reason he loves me. "Momma, I love you cause you make breakfast and you look like the girl from Star Wars, even though she doesn't have a light saber." What utter bullshit, but I will take it. Sweet little boy.

Max hates China, loves sushi

2009-03-24T10:13:00.000-07:00

It's been 2 years since the lead incident infuriated me and I made a passing remark about cheap, made in China toys, and Max still hates China. Today he was in the bath and looked on the bottom of his maroon rubber duck, there he saw one of the only sentences he knows how to read, "Made in China". "CHINA!" he shouted, "I HATE CHINA, THEY MAKE BAD TOYS!" a few seconds goes by, "but they have great sushi!". WTF, this kid has never ate sushi in his life. Had to explain that sushi is Japanese, which made him feel much better, and now I have to make him some sushi.

Sugar, Spice, and Human Sacrifice

2009-03-23T09:01:00.000-07:00

down the hall with the broken fluorescents
the deaths tench is fantastic
in the cold room with the floral wallcoverings
that's where you'll pierce my leather skin
I bleed. is that what you were looking for?
it's thick, it's black, it's tar.
is that what you wanted to see?

do i make you nervous?
am i an anxiety attack in a skirt?
I am paxil and anti-depressants and sedatives and alcohol and cherry chapstick
a fucking mess.
your own personal sweatfest

call me a cunt, as long as you're calling me
I am a masochist, I dig it.
should i have married you, or buried you?
same shit, isn't it?

Top Ten Bands To Have Sex To

2009-03-19T15:45:00.000-07:00

Iggy and the Stooges

Billy Idol

Blood for Blood

Love

Melvins

Muse

Pixies

Kings of Leon

Blondie

Social Distortion

Isis

Had to throw in Isis. Am I missing anyone?

Max's Gun

2009-03-19T11:02:00.001-07:00

Max invented a gun today. He says it's called a "Cockjenner" and is made specifically to be used on robots. You could either use one big lazer shot, or one million smaller shots. Only men and tanks can hold it, not women, because we are too weak. It costs $16 dollars.

Let me know if you are having a robot problem, I have your solution for a mere $16 dollars.

Anchor tattoo

2009-03-13T16:05:00.000-07:00

I got my first tattoo! It's an anchor for Max the Pirate, and a bow for Evie the Princess.

And I did a DIY chop of the mop. It's not bad, just not even. Oh well. Recession chic.

We have seedlings!

2009-03-10T16:18:00.000-07:00

Let's see it they actually grow! I didn't label them, lol. Oh well, I know there's basil, cilantro, eggplant, peppers, I just don't know which one is which! I like surprises, though.

Max's Observation

2009-03-06T06:51:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we were sitting around, just relaxing when out of the blue Max made the cutest observation, "Mommy, I think sissy is He-man". What do you think?

Dirk and Max

2009-03-04T11:06:00.000-08:00

Christian Sirano for Payless!

2009-02-28T12:30:00.000-08:00

I can't wait to buy a fierce pair of spiked shoes and kick somebody in the butt with them!! soon hopefully!!

Guilty Pleasure

2009-02-27T10:46:00.000-08:00

I can't stop going through the archives of this disgustingly addictive site! Check it out...

http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

Gavin's Birthday

2009-02-26T12:41:00.000-08:00

My nephew is 2!

Evie wanted cake.

Max thought it was deelish.

Mason can draw H's.

nom nom nom

2009-02-21T21:53:00.000-08:00

Max's Army

2009-02-18T17:26:00.000-08:00

I was feeling sorry for Max today when he gave me his saddest face and told me he wanted to have more friends. I started telling him I will find more kids for him to play with, I felt horrible! Then he explained he needed more friends for his army he was building to fight the yahoodie. I don't feel as bad now, but Paul can never loosely watch the news around him again!

Cheeseburger Paradise!

2009-02-17T11:03:00.000-08:00

I would totally ROCK this!!

seen here - http://www.geekologie.com/2009/01/_name_mulva_httpwwwjoykampiaco.php

My Target 75% off Clearance Finds!

2009-02-17T10:49:00.000-08:00

Pie Hole

2009-02-17T10:14:00.000-08:00

Here's dinner from last night. Salmon, roasted garlic potatoes, and pan-fried asparagus with mushrooms. It was delicious!

The asparagus is probably our favorite side dish. Olive oil, 3 cloves of minced garlic, 4 mushrooms, and 1/2 bundle of asparagus over medium heat, covered, until tender.

And finally, the apple pie! It was fantastic. I dug in right when it came out, but I strategically placed the hole in the back for the picture.

The crust is a basic 1 9 inch pie shell:

1 cup all purpose flour
1 tsp salt
6 tbsp shortening
2 tsp cold water

Mix together flour and salt. Cut in shortening until crumbly. Mix in 2 tsp cold water with a fork until it forms a ball. Roll out to 12 inch round on parchment paper, flip into 9 inch pie pan.

And the filling...

5 thinly sliced apples
1 tbsp lemon juice
3/4 cup white sugar
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup flour
6 tbsp butter

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
Place sliced apples in a large bowl. Sprinkle with lemon juice if desired. In a small bowl, mix together white sugar, 2 tablespoons flour, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Sprinkle mixture over apples. Toss until apples are evenly coated. Spoon mixture into pastry shell.
In a small bowl mix together 1/2 cup flour and brown sugar. Cut in butter or margarine until mixture is crumbly. Sprinkle mixture over apple filling. Cover top loosely with aluminum foil.
Bake in preheated oven for 25 minutes. Remove foil and bake an additional 25 to 30 minutes, until top is golden brown. Cool on a wire rack.

Deeleeshish!

My Valentines

2009-02-15T16:34:00.001-08:00

I hate Valentine's Day. Really, I do. It's vomit inducing. The pink and red, overpriced cut flowers, pounds and pounds of heart shaped chocolates, the Hallmark cards with made of cheese. My husband loves it, the cheesier the better with him. This year we took Max and Evie to Sesame Street Live... I loved it! Having kids makes holidays like Valentines worth actually doing something.

Later that night we went to dinner, I drank for the first time in a long time, vodka. I got sloshed, mean, and tired. Went to bed and woke up at 10:30PM and couldn't sleep until 5AM the next day since I wasn't able to take my sleeping pill. I think I might officially be a non-drinker.

RIP Grandpa

2009-02-13T15:13:00.000-08:00

It's taken me awhile to write this, because every time I start I end up getting emotional and deleting it. My grandpa passed away very recently. He was the best man I have ever met, he taught me how to be an emotionally wealthy person, which I now am. He taught me so much about love, family, and friendship. I knew him from his retirement until this year, I was a toddler at his retirement party. I remember the cake vividly. It had a plastic little man chilling in a hammock with a fishing hat on. He kept that little man on his desk in his basement for years afterwards.

I am not sure if it was just boredom from retirement, or if he was like this his whole life, but he was the most organized person I have ever met. He has a wood shop in his garage, which was immaculate, everything had a place. Same with his workshop in his basement. He knew the exact dates that filters needed to changed, light bulbs went in, cars needed oil changes. He never let the tank in his car go lower than 1/4 of a tank, he considered that empty. I forgot why, but I think I need to fill up whenever I am at a quarter tank now. The grass at my grandparent's house was like a rug. I loved to just lay in the grass. As he got older and couldn't do much anymore it was so hard to watch, he would always try to do things, and we would have to stop him and do it. Like raking the leaves, or mowing the lawn, shoveling snow. Luckily he surrounded himself with great friends, who could help him with that stuff, but I'll get to that later. As anal as my grandpa was about his things, he would let me take his hammers and nails and break up the cement in the driveway to try to find ants and other bugs hiding in the cracks. In fact, he gave me my own special rubber mallet just for ruining his driveway so I wouldn't get hurt.

I was so lucky to have grown up with the unconditional love that I did, I have suffered from anxiety and depression for the majority of my life so having the love and the family that I have saved me. My grandpa was exceptional in that department. From the moment I was born my grandfather was amazing, I have an older cousin, Heather, and two younger brothers and we were the center of his world. When I was a baby he would bring me a cupcake for each month I was born. He would build us toys, some of which I still have for my daughter. Every teacher that we had in school knew who my grandpa was. He would help in all of our classes, involving himself in our lives as much as possible. As I got older and more rebellious I would chop off all of my hair and dye it horrible colors, I wore punk rock, boyish outfits and my grandpa would tell me how beautiful I was and you could tell he actually meant it. I would bring the absolute worst, smelly, tattooed, greasy boys to Sunday dinner and my grandpa would smile and shake their hand and humor them. Even the sociopaths would leave saying my grandpa was the nicest man they had ever met.

When it came down to learning about love, my grandparents set the bar for every relationship I would ever have. My parents were great parents, but they divorced when I was young so they weren't the best lovers. My grandparents showed me what a marriage and love is supposed to look like, and my grandpa showed me how a man is supposed to treat a woman. My grandpa would leave love notes for my grandma around the house, on paper plates. They would be taped up in the kitchen, and say things like, "And they said it wouldn't last...", and "I love you more today than yesterday...". My grandparents complimented each other so well, they would finish each other's sentences, my grandma is more take charge and my grandpa more laid back. When it came time for me to fall in love, I fell for someone just like my grandpa. My husband is a hopeless romantic, he leaves me notes in the kitchen, his wood shop is immaculate, he saves every user manual for everything, and his name is Michael. How fitting. I am so blessed, and it's because my grandpa showed me what the perfect man is.

Friendship was important to my grandpa, he is loyal to his friends, and has known many for years. He loved his church family, especially the children. I can tell you stories about kids I have never met, just because my grandpa talked about them so much. He carried suckers in his pockets for kids, and prayed for the children at his church at our Sunday dinners. He also made friends everywhere he would go, after having to get all of our cars fixed so much (which my grandpa would insist on paying for) he became friends with the guys at the car place. He would bring grandma's baked goods and chili up there. One of the guys, Eric, would wake up at 6AM before work and snow blow my grandpa's sidewalk for him. Amazing. Then my cousin Fred moved next door and he would do it. His other friends that he has had forever he would speak to not as often, as far as I know, but he did keep in touch.

I remember so many times and stories about my grandpa that make me happy, like when my mom used to make raw egg sandwiches in her easy bake oven, and my grandpa would smile and eat them and say how delicious they are. Or the plastic motorcycle that my best friend Angela's son had that was a hand-me-down to my son, Max. It didn't make noise anymore, big deal right? Oh yes it was, my grandpa spent weeks working on the electrical for this plastic toy just to make it more special for Max. That's how my grandpa was, he wanted to make everybody else feel special. He was the most selfless person I have known. If I ever said I liked something that he owned, he would try to give it to me. One time grandma wanted a boom box, they bought a cute one at Target and when I saw it I said "oh, I like that, it's cute!" Then grandpa started trying to give it to me. I told him I have quite the sound system of my own, and grandma said she hasn't even had it a couple days, but grandpa kept trying to give it to me. He would always slip money into my hand, and I knew it would be easier to take it than to argue with him. He wasn't made of money, but anything he had was ours, and he made sure we knew it. I knew he would give an arm for any of us, and I would do the same for anyone in my life, and I learned that from him.

There is so many more fantastic things about my grandpa, he raised three girls, one of them my mother, he was a veteran, he was a hard-working man all of his life, and I wish I would have known him then, but I didn't. I knew him for 23 years, and I'm glad I caught the years I did because he was the best grandpa I could have had. I am trying to think of what I can get out of his life, or the legacy that he has left. I always see quotes about if you make someones life more special than you have lived a fulfilling life. I believe in this with all my heart. What I have learned from my grandpa is what love really is, and making my marriage beautiful, and to make my children's lives magical every day. Just like he made my life magical. Then hopefully they will grow up with the same values, and pass them on to their children. I will never be as selfless and fantastic as my grandpa was, but having him in my life has made me at least want to try daily. Thank you Grandpa, I can't wait to see you again, and when I do I know your hands will be working, your legs will be strong, and you will have a perfect lawn for us to lay in.

What do I do all day?

2009-02-10T16:44:00.000-08:00

9 AM - Wake up to the sound of Evie shouting "MAMA!". Max is already in bed with me from when he snuck in at 5AM, I was too out of it to send him back. Dirk takes most the bed, Max the rest, I have a neck ache from being on the very edge. Sleeping pill still hasn't worn off. Try to get the kids to cuddle with me in bed, but doesn't work. They already want breakfast and drinks. I change the baby, takes about 5 minutes and some wrestling moves I learned back in WWF popularity, she is screaming the whole time. I put back on her pajamas and answer 30 questions for Max while getting them milk. Finally! I can pee! I go to the bathroom and then the door opens, they are both standing there, Max yelling to hurry up because he has to go, he always doesn't have to until I am. I go into the family room and turn on cartoons so I can make breakfast. Evie already has her diaper off. Whatever. Put it back on. Onto breakfast.
9:30AM - Start breakfast. Make caterpillar pancakes, smaller to large pancakes with blueberries. Give them strawberry smiles, whipped cream eye whites, and blueberry eyes. The whole time I am yelling at Evie to get away from the oven, stop moving the chairs to get cookies, and keep on her pants. Answer 100 questions from Max. Put breakfast on the table and while they're eating take my 15 vitamins and anti-anxiety medicine, then unload the dishwasher and load in the dishes from making breakfast. When they finish they are covered in syrup so they go in the bath.
10AM - Bathtime. Getting them in is easy, they love it. Then the fighting begins. They argue over who gets to be closest to the water faucet, who gets the wash cloth, who gets the hair washing cup. Once I have turned off the water and taken everything they fight over I remember I forgot the towels and go to the closet, crap, they're not folded yet. I go into the bedroom and gab two towels, and their clothes for the day. I come back to the bath room to find that Evie has thrown the bathroom rug and about 5 tampons in the tub. Max says, "Look what Evie did". Yeah, I see that, why don't you ever tell me when she is just getting up. I get them out of the tub and wrestle with Evie to get dressed. Max only puts on his underwear and runs around the house like that for the rest of the day. I don't feel like fighting him on it.
10:45AM - We go to watch tv, I sit down with my laptop and check my regular reads while Evie is trying to sit on my head and Max is watching cartoon asking 100 questions about the show. After a little while Evie gets tired and is ready to rumble with Max, it's time for her nap.
11:30AM - I put Evie down for her nap and take Max into my bedroom, I set up his PBSkids games for him on the laptop so I can sleep. It takes me an hour to fall asleep because he needs help with the games and it's just hard to shut off my brain. I get about an hour off and on with Max needing help with his game.
1:30PM - Evie is up, diaper situation again. Lunchtime. Heat up leftover chicken stir fry from the night before. Evie plays with it, Max asks a million questions. I clean up the kitchen while they eat. After they are finished I put on a movie so I can take a shower.
2:00PM - I get in the shower, and damn am I excited! I have been waiting for this! I get in and just as I get soap in my hair Max opens the door and lets the cold air in, he starts screaming the Evie took the couch pillows off the couch. I tell him to put them back for me, he says okay. He doesn't close the door all the way so I'm still cold. I start hurrying, skipping shaving my legs, when Evie busts in to tell her side of the story. She starts saying something about Max when she decides to bust open the child proof lock on the cabinet and brush her teeth. She opens the shower curtain laughing with my toothbrush in her mouth, she's naked of course. I get out of the shower and brush my teeth, then go in my room to get dressed. The kids jump on my bed screaming "Party, Party, Party" while I get ready.
2:30PM - Laundry time. They follow me downstairs and play nicely for awhile. I'm able to escape to go upstairs and clean up the family room. The kids come up and we cuddle/watch tv/read books/color until their dad gets home.
5PM - Dirk comes home. I got Evie down for a second nap so I am laying on the couch with Max, dozing off. He bought an ugly, metal framed rocking chair off craigslist for $110. WTF? Whatever floats his boat, he's wanted a
man chair" for a long time now. It will get me my Ikea curtains sooner! Scratch mine and I'll scratch yours, right? I am relived! I can finally emotionally relax by making dinner. Dirk takes over, moving furniture for his new chair. I make dinner.

Salmon

3 fillets, olive oil, black peppercorn, 375 degrees for 20 minutes.

Mashed Potatoes with Kale

1 cup of kale
olive oil
2 cloves minced garlic
milk
sea salt
red potatoes
parmesan

make the mashed potatoes, add milk until creamy, salt. pour 3-4 good gulps into a frying pan, add garlic, wilt the kale over med-high heat. stir into potatoes. add parm on top.

Roasted Corn/Bell Pepper Salad

roast corn under broiler until just charred, around 1 cup.
dice 1/2 cup red and yellow peppers
dice 1/2 cup cucumber
mix all in bowl
add 1 tsp balsamic vinegar, 1tsp olive oil, and a couple dashes of basil
toss and serve

As I'm making dinner Dirk comes up behind me and wants to hug and talk, I'm in a zone so I shoe him away. We eat dinner.

6:30PM - Dirk goes into the shower, I do the dishes, then I start writing this, the kids are playing in the new recliner. I know how the rest of the night will play out though... I will fold the clothes and do some more laundry, the kids will watch Charlie Brown Valentine's Day at 8PM. Following that they will argue about going to bed, Max will call his dad to talk to him in his bed, Evie will get a story and go down. Dirk and I will watch a movie and exercise and dick around on the computer until we go to bed around midnight, but I will lay there for 3-4 hours, even with the sleeping pills.

This is what a week day is like with nowhere to go, no one to see. Other days can be a lot more hectic. I love my kids and I did leave out a lot of timeouts and kisses, just giving the basics. Weekends are 100% better for me because my sir helps out soooo much. He's a great dad. I have an anxiety problem and I have a hypothyroid which makes me overly tired. Sometimes I wonder if healthy stay at home moms have it any easier than I do. I guess I will never know. I do love my life though, really.

Max draws and alien

2009-02-10T12:32:00.000-08:00

Swoon!

2009-02-08T18:11:00.000-08:00

How I wish this was my fridge!!

99 Things

2009-02-08T16:29:00.000-08:00

I found this on someone else's blog and thought it would be fun to participate. I guess I haven't done much, but a lot of these things aren't on my personal list! There might be more (or less), my mom would have to let me know. This is to the best of my knowledge...

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars - (I was in a tent, does that count?)
3. Played in a band - only Rock Band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea. (This sounds awesome! Adding to list)
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb (not a live one, I don't think?)
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language - html? ;)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie - not a big production one
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma - don't meet the weight requirements
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check - this is a good thing!
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy - mom did
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

WALL-E REVIEW

2009-02-05T18:21:00.000-08:00

Me - Max, what is Wall-E about?

Max - he's about... he gets in the ship, he goes home, the end. and then there was stop signs, because wall-e was being bad, because he didn't tell the truth. and that was the end.

Me - Would you watch it again?

Max - uhh, YEAH!

Me - How many stars would you give it?

Max - 1, 2, 3!!!

Max As A Movie Critic

2009-02-04T18:06:00.000-08:00

If you have been wondering if any movies are worth 2 hours of your life, I have the perfect solution! I have employed my son to rate movies, and it will now be a feature on my blog every time he sees a new one! Excited? Well, you should be...

KUNG FU PANDA REVIEW

Me - Max, what is Kung Fu Panda about?

Max - It's about, uh, he fights Kai Lan, he puts one finger up, um, boom he's dead, and then they come and find him, and then they he puts his finger up, and then people come see him, and then boom he's the Dragon Warrior. And then I watch it again.

Me - Would you watch it again?

Max - Ummm, yeah!

Me - How many stars would you give it?

Max - Um, 2 months.

SPACE BUDDIES/JOHNNY TEST/CAILLOU REVIEW

Me - What's Space Buddies about?

Max - Space Buddies is about they go in a rocket ship, and then they go in a meteor shower, and then they go on the moon, and then they land in the place where they did, and then the people cheered, yay yay yay yay!!

Me - Would you watch it again?

Max - No, then I watch Johnny Test. Johnny Test goes into Pokemon world and that's the end! All the stories are completed!

Me - How many stars would you give it?

Max - Johnny Test? Or Caillou?

Me - What's Caillou about?

Max - Caillou about he gets older, helps Rosie, and plays with his friends. Boom it's over!

Me - How many stars would you give Caillou?

Max - Can we talk about this later? I want to watch Caillou.

Interview with myself

2009-01-31T11:11:00.000-08:00

You know how magazines like Vogue have interviews with stylists and designers? Well, here's one that I have done with myself. Boredom, really.

Tell me five words to describe yourself?
Contradictory, Satiric, Eclectic, Loyal, Head-case

What words do you most overuse?
Considering the toddler in the house, "No".

What's your idea of a perfect day?
Sleeping in, 60 degree fall day, raking, burning the leaves, jumping in them with the kids. Making a nice dinner, baking a pie that smells great, getting a babysitter and going to a rock show.

Do you have any regrets?
Not at all. I have fucked up a lot, and I still fuck up a lot every single day, but I wouldn't be me without it. And I kind of dig myself.

What's the quality you most admire in a man?
Integrity, 100%.

If you could be any other nationality what would it be?
I love being and Irish American, but being an Irish Swede might be kind of awesome.

Are you religious?
I believe in God, I feel I am a Christian, but I take issue with some aspects of the bible so it's an ongoing battle with myself. My relationship with God is personal, and most certainly real.

What is your favourite snack?
Brownies always sound good.

What do you think you'd taste like?
Lotion.

What talent would you most like to possess?
The ability to be calm 24-7, without the aid of medicine.

If you were a vegetable, what would you be?
A tomato; rebellious, since it's not ACTUALLY a vegetable.

And if you were an animal?
A rabbit; because I'm so damn fertile.

What was your dream job as a child?
Defense attorney.

What do you consider to be your greatest achievement?
Max Paul and Genevieve Aniela.

How do you define style?
Loving, rocking, owning, confidence. In whatever it is.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
2 inches off the thighs.

Do you have a motto?
Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.

What would you do if you ruled the world?
Eliminate federal government.

25 random things

2009-01-30T07:29:00.000-08:00

1. I never wanted to get married or have children, but now I'm glad I did.

2. Both of my children were conceived when birth control went awry after too much alcohol.

3. I love music, but I have such bad musical ADD, I skip songs before they finish. Same with the microwave, I hit stop at 1 second left.

4. I pick my nose, but it's in the shower so I'm not that gross. Right?

5. I was agnostic for all of my teenage years and early adulthood, until I started seeing dead people in October 2007. Serious.

6. The most piercings I had at one time was 23, now I only have my ears pierced.

7. I am very jaded and cynical, which is pretty sad coming from a 23 year old. And I have very dry, sarcastic humor. A lot of people don't "get" it.

8. Overly nice people make me uncomfortable.

9. I am doped up 24-7 on Paxil for a panic disorder. I can't function like a normal human being without it.

10. I am a very loyal, family first person. Irish blood runs thick.

11. I have a very addictive personality, so I have to stay away from everything that could potentially become addictive. If I drink for a weekend, smoke pot, or take pain killers then it's hard for me to not want more, even if its once.

12. Elvis Costello is the one man I would screw besides my husband, and Milla Jovovich is his one girl.

13. Politics infuriate me, so I try to avoid the news. Doesn't work.

14. I lived in London for 6 months because I ran away with some English dude. I'm so happy I didn't let him or his family talk me into marrying him for citizenship.

15. I think "making love" is weird and cheesy. I would rather do it in some dirty hole in the wall bar's bathroom at a punk show.

16. I just realized my father is on my Facebook and I'm laughing my ass off.

17. I think tattoos, shoes, and lips are the hottest things on a guy. My husband has all 3, except his tattoos are a little prison esque ;) right babe?

18. I love fashion and home decor, but I refuse to pay more than 10 bucks for any article of clothing. And I look damn good.

19. On that note, I am the most frugal person ever. I never get my nails done, go tanning, go out to eat, I feed my kids homemade and organic on only 40 bucks a week. Hubby and I are serious about paying off our house and car and being totally debt free.

20. We have a chicken coop and a goat house. I also have a huge garden. We live on an acre of land. I would love to have more land and live 100% off of it.

21. I am not a hippie, I swear. I don't really live in A2.

22. I have a hard time looking people in the eyes because my mother never does.

23. I have some form of body dysmorphia. I look in the mirror and see 50 lbs more weight on my body than there really is. I look at girls that weigh the same as me and are the same height and think they look great, but I don't see it with myself.

24. I am looking forward to wearing a short Betsey Johnson prom dress and renewing my vows in Vegas in front of Elvis for our 5 year anniversary. 3 more years!

25. This took me a very long time to do, I guess I don't think about myself enough. I'm not sure if that's good or bad.

Max 4th Super Hero Birthday Party!

2009-01-26T19:00:00.000-08:00

Here's the slideshow from Max's 4th birthday! I can't believe how big my baby is getting! He wanted a tattoo party at first, but I had a huge brain fart with the theme so I talked him into a Super Hero party. He wanted a Batman, Superman, Spiderman cake, so my brother's girlfriend and I made him 3 cakes. We had hot dogs, marshmallow fluff, homemade mac and cheese, Chinese coleslaw, and punch. Oh, and superman ice cream of course! All of his little friends came dressed up in their Super Hero gear, it was lots of fun, I think Super Hero party is one of the most fun themes we've done so far, with the pirate party as an exception.

So long, Mr. Bush!

2009-01-20T09:24:00.000-08:00

Today is the day! Barack Obama will be President! He's an article from a newspaper in Norway from October about Mr. Obama, it's fantastic!

http://www.vg.no/nyheter/utenriks/presidentvalg-2008/artikkel.php?artid=527005

To translate...

Mary Menth Andersen was 31 years old at the time and had just married Norwegian Dag Andersen. She was looking forward to starting a new life in Åsgårdstrand in Vestfold with him. But first she had to get all of her belongings across to Norway. The date was November 2, 1988.

At the airport in Miami, things were hectic as usual, with long lines at the check-in counters. When it was finally Mary’s turn and she had placed her luggage on the baggage line, she got the message that would crush her bubbling feeling of happiness.

“You’ll have to pay a 103 dollar surcharge if you want to bring both those suitcases to Norway,” the man behind the counter said.

Mary had no money. Her new husband had travelled ahead of her to Norway, and she had no one else to call.

“I was completely desperate and tried to think which of my things I could manage without. But I had already made such a careful selection of my most prized possessions,” says Mary.

Although she explained the situation to the man behind the counter, he showed no signs of mercy.

“I started to cry, tears were pouring down my face and I had no idea what to do. Then I heard a gentle and friendly voice behind me saying, ‘That’s OK, I’ll pay for her.’”

Mary turned around to see a tall man whom she had never seen before.

“He had a gentle and kind voice that was still firm and decisive. The first thing I thought was, Who is this man?”

Although this happened 20 years ago, Mary still remembers the authority that radiated from the man.

“He was nicely dressed, fashionably dressed with brown leather shoes, a cotton shirt open at the throat and khaki pants,” says Mary.

She was thrilled to be able to bring both her suitcases to Norway and assured the stranger that he would get his money back. The man wrote his name and address on a piece of paper that he gave to Mary. She thanked him repeatedly. When she finally walked off towards the security checkpoint, he waved goodbye to her.

The piece of paper said ‘Barack Obama’ and his address in Kansas, which is the state where his mother comes from. Mary carried the slip of paper around in her wallet for years, before it was thrown out.

“He was my knight in shining armor,” says Mary, smiling.

She paid the 103 dollars back to Obama the day after she arrived in Norway. At that time he had just finished his job as a poorly paid community worker* in Chicago, and had started his law studies at prestigious Harvard university.

In the spring of 2006, Mary’s parents had heard that Obama was considering a run for president, but that he had still not decided. They chose to write a letter in which they told him that he would receive their votes. At the same time, they thanked Obama for helping their daughter 18 years earlier.

In a letter to Mary’s parents dated May 4, 2006 and stamped ‘United States Senate, Washington DC’, Barack Obama writes:

I want to thank you for the lovely things you wrote about me and for reminding me of what happened at Miami Airport. I’m happy I could help back then, and I’m delighted to hear that your daughter is happy in Norway. Please send her my best wishes. Sincerely, Barack Obama, United States Senator

The parents sent the letter on to Mary.

This week VG met her and her husband in the café that she runs with her friend Lisbeth Tollefsrud in Åsgårdstrand.

“It’s amazing to think that the man who helped me 20 years ago may now become the next U.S. president,” says Mary delightedly.

She has already voted for Obama. She recently donated 100 dollars to his campaign.

She often tells the story from Miami Airport, both when race issues are raised and when the conversation turns to the presidential elections.

“I sincerely hope the Americans will see reason and understand that Obama means change,” says Mary.

That's a real act of kindness! I hope his presidency is taken on with the same compassion he showed Mary. Since I gave Barack Obama my support, and vote, I will be a critic ;) That's what us cynics do. Don't give me too much to complain about, sir!

Star Wars Retold

2009-01-17T12:27:00.000-08:00

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

Warmth on the coldest day this year...

2009-01-14T17:42:00.000-08:00

My nephew, Lincoln Henry, has made his way into the world. Born today at 8:30AM, he weighs 7lbs3oz, is 19 inches long, and looks like all of the rest of the kids.

Using desitin is child abuse (too much info)

2009-01-13T11:33:00.000-08:00

Every so often I do a body flush, I detox my body when I've consumed too much processed food. I'm currently on day 5 of a two week detox, and it makes you go to the bathroom A LOT. Since the economy is so rough, I have been buying sandpaper tp, total ass ripping experience. Last night my butt was so chapped I grabbed some of the baby's Desitin and OH MY GOD. It burnt like hell. No wonder the kid screams bloody murder when I put it on her. I removed the offending ointment from my ass and applied Bordeaux Butt Paste. MUCH BETTER. Please, don't torture your children with Desitin, it's the equivalent of putting tiger balm on a flaming asshole.

This consumer report has been brought to you by Maggie.

It's been awhile...

2009-01-12T20:15:00.000-08:00

I've been blogging mostly at myspace, but I'm going to try to get back here. A lot has happened since I last updated. Here's a rundown...

Halloween Party

Sweetest Day

Max Wrote His Name

From maxwriteshisname

Finished Evie's Bedroom

Christmas happened

And then new years, and now we're here.

We have started working on our kitchen, half of the tile is up but we measured wrong and need to buy more. I'm super excited about it, it's red glass tile. We'll be painting the walls a warm gold. I will post some before pictures when I get a chance.

Max watched Star Wars with me tonight, and the second I turned it on he had all the right questions, "momma, why's he wearing a mask?"... "oh my god, that's his father?!" He's such a sci-fi geek.

Bathroom renovation

2008-10-06T18:43:00.000-07:00

I started my project on my bathroom! I forgot to take a before pic prior to painting the cabinet, but here it is as of now.

This is what the cabinet looked like before, oak, brass, yuck.

Here's the after, I painted the cabinet black and added new hardware. I love the way it turned out, you can still see the wood grain so it doesn't look laquered or cheap.

Cider Mill 08, beautiful day with my beautiful family

2008-10-06T18:17:00.000-07:00

We got a house!

2008-02-19T12:35:00.001-08:00

After being in this apartment for a year, we finally got a house! It's a 3 bedroom ranch, on an acre, in Howell. We should be closing on March 15th, FINGERS CROSSED!!

We had Xmas and Max's Bob the Builder 3rd birthday in January, since the last time I updated.

We had his party at Castaway Cafe, which is sort of the equivalent of Leaps and Bounds or Discovery Zone. Lots of tunnels and small, horribly behaved, evil children; 2 of which were mine. We had a good time, but I'm not sure if we'll be doing that again. Luckily, we will have our new house for Genevieve's party!

Max has been okay, his potty training has totally regressed. I'm going to try again once we get into the new house. He has developed a new personality named "Goo Goo". Goo Goo visits when he's tired or not getting enough attention. Goo Goo craps his pants, pees on the floors, wants a baba, and needs to be held. I'm sure I have done something horrible to make this come about, and his future therapist and/or wife will damn me. Shit.

Evie says "dada" and "mama", she takes a couple steps, but can't be bothered with full on walking. Being carried is sooo much better.

Oh! Angela got married and is with child. Hurrah! She got a mini-bachelorette party where I made this lovely piece of art...

Her wedding was fantastic. And now she's grown hormonal pregnancy horns. I want to scoop her up, and move her out here to the country with me until the baby is born, but I don't think Jason would like that. Or maybe he would, who knows. ;)

Would you look at that- an update!

2007-12-21T20:28:00.000-08:00

Things have been hectic. I've neglected you. Sorry blog.

Here's some baby shoes, excuse the poor picture quality and the runny nosed Miss Genevieve.

I made them using an awesome tutorial I found online, I'll re-find it and post the link later.

What else has happened...
Thanksgiving.

Halloween. I made my and Max's costumes. It was too cold for Evie's Tinkerbell costume.

Christmas is in a few days. I'll update more afterward. HECTIC.

ANTI-MADE IN CHINA XMAS

2007-09-06T14:35:00.000-07:00

Seriously. I'm sick of being worried about the toys my kids are playing with. I should be able to go to the store, buy a fucking toy, and not be worried that they will be POISONED! This is the THIRD recall this summer. NOT including the Rainforest Swing that my child has swung in that I had to take back, and in return was given a gift card to buy more Made in China BULLSHIT! And don't think for a SECOND that since these toys have been recalled that Mattel is furiously testing all their toys to ensure your childrens safety because if that were the case we wouldn't be hearing about this recall now, WE WOULD HAVE HEARD ABOUT IT IN MAY WHEN WE HEARD ABOUT THE OTHERS!

As long as there has been no death, or horrible poisoning, or a face of a poor child to link this to the public will not care. We will get pissed, we will groan and moan, we will be happy that they are going to cut us a gift certificate to buy more Made In China bullshit, and we're going to rinse and repeat!

Economically, it would be best for us to buy American manafactured toys and spend a few dollars more, but at the end of the day us flag waving patriotic types stop in the nearest Walmart and buy it cheaper where the workmanship was outsourced to China, but really when you can hardly afford your house payment who can blame you? We're set up to fail in this country so the rich can get richer.
I have done this, I have gone to the store to grab essentials and to avoid a screaming fit from my son I buy him whatever character toy he wanted, which Fisher Price makes, which wasn't made by Fisher Price at all but instead outsourced to China to make a quick buck (or billion), but I'm done, it's getting ridiculous and the only way they will stop marketing their crap to the masses is if they can't sell it, and they've lost my business so hopefully others will follow suit and THEN we'll start seeing REAL thoughtful craftmanship with our health and saftey in mind.

So let's fucking stop. If we don't give Fisher Price our business, than they can't give it to China, then they won't be able to make their money, then they will reconsider outsourcing since we are boycotting and it will bring more jobs home, and then maybe we can pay our fucking bills!How the hell do we do this? Well, let's start with Christmas, a NOT Made in China Christmas! There are many AMERICAN toy companies that you can buy at TARGET or KMART that won't cost you an appendage. I have acquired some websites to start with...
www.stillmadeinusa.com
www.buyamerican.com (more expensive but cute shit!)

Two huge brands are Step 2 and Little Tikes. Or just flip over the toy when you buy it and see where it was made, that's huge! Even if it's hard to find things Made in America (yes, it's VERY hard) at least look for European countries, who are sticklers for quality.

Seriously, I'm ready to cut the crap, and one Christmas with plummeting sales is probably just what this horrible company of death needs to see we mean fucking business.For a list of recalls and to see if your child's crap has been affected go here...
http://service.mattel.com/us/recall.asp
Paul gave me a great idea, if you clear coat all of your shatty plastic MIC toys the chance of lead exposure will be greatly reduced, only if they were to chip the paint but even then it would be minimal. We will be doing this to the toys Max is attached to (Hot Wheels, Geo Trax, Trains).
There's my rant for the month.

Free downloadable greatness

2007-08-24T11:00:00.001-07:00

http://cp.c-ij.com/english/3D-papercraft/building/viking_e.html

No. Not for Max, not for Evie, they're still young. Fun for mommy!

Free stuff withdrawel

2007-08-16T07:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the end of the Target baby food 2 for $1 steal. After getting upwards of 600 jars for free, I'm having bargain withdrawels. There's still the free cookies, .9 cent flavored water, and 50c toilet paper but I miss my baby food!

Max now has a purse. It's a black Betsey Johnson small change purse. He took his purse to Target the other day to buy something, what did he buy? A new purse. This one is pink with Bratz dolls on it though. This on top of the new dollhouse. He's a very secure little boy.

Evie holds her bottle now. :)

My son; the walking billboard

2007-08-14T17:50:00.000-07:00

My 2.5 year old has become a victim of mass consumption.

Unfortunately, whilst pregnant with my son I developed an addiction to daytime soaps (yes, I know, and I'm bowing my head in shame) how do I know I watch to much daytime TV in front of my son? Well, there's this local commercial that comes on for cleaning carpets, routinely, once a show. Well, Max's new favorite song to sing is the ditty for this commercial. Every time it comes on he runs to the TV and sings along "1-800-STEAMER Stanley Steamer gets carpets cleaner!" and then he cracks up. Seriously. He also knows the M&M's commercial and several Nick Toons theme songs.

To top it off, I was rushing to get to the East Side the other day and forgot to feed my kid (I know, still bowing head in shame) so he reminds me by saying "I want FRIES and UMBUGGER" when we pass by Wendys. I figure since I was craving a big bite of mad cow disease, er, Taco Bell, I could stop at the Wixom exit and get him fries. So, we get there and I pull into the McDonalds and Max starts SCREAMING "NO, I WANT WA WAS" yes, he meant Wendys. My 2 1/2 year old has a FAST FOOD PREFERENCE. I saw an A&W and went there instead since their food isn't as disgusting, but dang! I feed this kid fast food like once or twice a month, how can he possibly have a preference?! I need to start renting him out to companies as super adorable ad space.

Okay, maybe not.

Vacations and poison.

2007-08-07T17:36:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile, where to start.

We went on vacation, or a weekend, or on a mini-trip to my dad's "cabin". A quasi cabin, perhaps. If you consider a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom home on a lake that has cable installed a "cabin", my dad does. Anyways. Irish Hills, MI is amazing for tourist attractions. We stopped at a little old Western town in a town named Stage Coach Stop. Max LOVED it.

This is the front gate.

Max posing with the "farmers". He kept saying the "farmers are fighting and shooting, mean farmers".

This is the train hold up, Max's favorite part. They had actors that performed shoot outs and robbed people.

At the petting zoo, as you can see, I'm thrilled to have an evil goat that close to me. The llama almost bit off Max's hand, and the duck lurking in the background struck Max's face after this picture was taken. Seriously.

After Max kicked Dirk in the balls. You can see the pain in his face.

Is it just me, or does Paul Bunyan look like a skinhead with his white laces, pants tucked in his boots, and suspenders? He actually looks EXACTLY like Max's dad, face and all. No wonder Max liked him.

Afterward we went fishing. Max says the lilypads are lolipops.

Evie's 4th month of gracing us with her presence was yesterday. We celebrated by trying some rice cereal.

You would think I was feeding her the elixer of death.

1/4 of a year

2007-07-06T09:45:00.000-07:00

Evie is 3 months old today! That mean 3/4 more and she'll be one year! Getting so big. I've been bored as shit which resulted in bandanas and crib canopies this week.

The bandana costs less than 10 cents to make, the canopy about 15 dollars. I've always been a DIY girl but living in the middle of nowhere and boredom is turning it into an obsession, which could be a good thing, I guess. I think this blog has almost officially become a craft blog.

Fourth

2007-07-04T20:11:00.000-07:00

The Fourth of July was eventful. Max showed off his new wagon...

Arrrg.

Evie showed off her new dress.

My crafting has gone to new levels, can you tell I'm bored?

Max has a new job.

3 weeks ago we were in Target and Max was sleeping in the cart. All of the sudden he leapt up and proclaimed, "MAMA THIS MY WORK! WHAT YOU DOIN' AT MY WORK?" I was dumbfounded, but he kept insisting he worked at Target. Yesterday we were back in Target and when I walked by the baby shoes (same place I was in before when he shouted) he started screaming "ME WORK! WHY ARE WE AT MY WORK?" Who knows...

The other day Evie was crying, just messing around I told Max, "I think this baby is broken, maybe we should get another one?" Max didn't find that funny at all. He started crying, "NO, I WANT TO KEEP THIS ONE!" I felt horrible.

No news is good news?

2007-06-26T09:38:00.000-07:00

This is the current news on iGoogle. I'm surprised they didn't do a "Breaking News" interruption during Max's cartoons on Nickelodeon. Our celebrity obsessed country continues to reach new lows.

IN OTHER CELEBRITY NEWS-

Chris Benoit killed himself and his family. Including his 7 year old son. And the WWE paid homage to him on Monday Night Raw. And wrestling fans everywhere are mourning the loss of "a great wrestler". Are people forgetting HE MURDERED HIS SEVEN YEAR OLD SON?! If this was any other family he'd be a sick murderer, not a great loss who should be given 3 hours of airtime to celebrate his life.

Max's bedtime woes

2007-06-25T20:24:00.000-07:00

Since we've moved to the crotch of Michigan, Max has been sleeping great. He would tell me he was tired, go in his room without a fuss, get into his bed, give me a kiss, and walla! Comatose sleep. Of course, that's only at night, not during nap time, but that's a whole other story... So, recently Max has decided he wants to protest sleeping. We put him in his bed, he cries that he wants us to lay with him, he asks for random thing to stall the sleeping like "apple juice now mama" or "need choo choo blankie", and once we leave the room he screams bloody murder for about 10 minutes. After that 10 minutes is up, you go into his room and he's sleeping here:

Under his train table. I will move him, but several times throughout the night he'll return to his "hiding spot". This picture was taken this morning. His rebellion makes me proud, but frustrates the hell out of me at the same time. I'm going to put a pad underneath the table and a pillow under there and encourage it, then making we'll return to the bed.

Today we went to Target to use my new coupon math to get cheap diapers (no, it's not fraud) and Max was exhausted sitting in the cart. All of the sudden out of nowhere he jumps up and proclaims, "MAMA WHAT YOU DOIN HERE AT MY WORK" to which I replied, "I didn't know you worked at Target?", and he responded, "THIS MY WORK MAMA YOU GO". I already embarrass him at work, I guess.

Our Birthday deux

2007-06-21T11:41:00.000-07:00

My birthday was the 19th, Dirk's was yesterday. 5 years and 1 day apart, convenient how that worked out, huh? I did exactly what I wanted to do, not take care of kids. Well, from the time Dirk got home from work until bedtime. Instead of wrestling with my 2 year old and getting puked on I made these - TADA! I'm so proud. Of course they ended up too small, but they were a good first run. Now all of my nephews are getting punk rock booties, whether their parents want them to wear them or not.
I also spent the whole night making cakes for Dirk and my brother-in-law's birthday party which was the next day. They're exactly 1 year apart, to the day. His poor mother. Anyways, they were chocolate raspberry and lemon with lemon curd. From scratch. I like to challenge myself, but 4 years ago I would have bought a damn box of Twinkies and stuck candles in them and called it a day. When you live in the hills of jack there's nothing else better to do than to spend your birthday making cakes and booties.

Dirk got me a Flogging Molly CD on my actual birthday. His idea to get me a gift certificate to the tattoo shop fell through when he told me about it and I complained, whining that I wouldn't use it for a long time since I have some weight to lose from the baby still. The next day he called me and told me he had a present, I asked him what it was, to which he replied "Circle of Life". Right away I assumed he got me a god damn Elton John album, or the Lion King. Later, when I opened it I found out the Circle of Life is actually an eccentric looking necklace, and I like it. Husband has always been good at buying me jewelry. But now I look bad because all I bought him was new shoes. Shit.

Max's hair diaries

2007-06-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

Max got his mohawk.

Well, his faux hawk. I chickened out on the sides. How freaking cute.

It's a girl! We've named her Bad Karma

2007-04-21T12:26:00.000-07:00

Genevieve Aniela has made her way into the world, instilling fear into my soul. Sometimes when it's quiet and I'm looking into those beautiful eyes of hers, I see an angry 14 year old, ready to steal the car and go get herself knocked up by some hoodrat. She is my mother's revenge, and she's perfect in every way. I love you Evie, and when you're 14 I'll still see this cute little face, even if it's covered in black eyeliner.